image Why Am I Fat?


It’s simple right? I ate too much.

Yo Yo weight isn’t as complicated as it sounds.

I can tell you about fat without causing offence because it’s MY story to tell.

So when i was in school, i was sporty. Then i broke my leg. I was in puberty and gained weight.

My leg healed and I became sporty again.  I even got bullied for being thin!

I went to college, met a girl from school and she told me people were jealous of my shape at school…. go figure, i left school wanting to gain weight because i was made to feel like a knock kneed freak!  College, no sport. I gained weight…. I went too far.  Yet my youth, school and college gave me issues with food, terrible issues.  Forcing food in when i was too thin was tough.  Liking food once i got the hang of it was too easy.

I left college and worked in a beautiful top class salon.

There i made some discoveries.  Being a hairdressing apprentice was not just about hair, it was about health and well being and learning the critically important ways to think about food and it was healthy! I truly cannot thank that time in life enough.

I lost weight. I became exactly what my small frame desired simply by going up and down stairs all day long, running to an exercise class, grabbing a tale away afterwards whilst my metabolism was still working at it’s peak after a fun hour of step aerobics and catching the bus home.

I left that job, i gained weight. I sat in an office.

I sat in many offices and gained weight. Until. I remembered some important teachings from my colleagues in the salon.

Then i began dancing.

Then i gave up dancing.

Now i am in my 40’s and more than ever conscious that the weight gained is more difficult to lose but knowing why i got the fat in the first place reminds me to be conscious of how much or rather how often i eat crap in oversized portions.

My friend explained this to me when i was 19.  Exercise matters for many reasons but seriously when it comes to weight, it matters first what you put in your body and more importantly, how much of it.

I have since read that your body has pretty much decided how many fat cells it wants to carry by the time we are around 25 years.  I will look more into this.

For now, here is the theory i have had tucked at the back of my mind since I was sat on that train with Frances explaining what was happening to my body if i didn’t pay attention now.   I have to say this is in no way scientific, it was however a profound explanation from a colleague who gave me a vision in my mind which never left me.

Fat cells fill, divide, fill,

The Fat Cells I created in my early 20’s are sat there waiting to be filled at any given time, this is why when you lose weight it is sooooooooooooo easy to regain.

The main photo in this writing was taken in April 2016

This next photo taken May 2017 having lost 20kg.

I eat, my friends will testify to this.  I eat consciously shall we say, i am aware of those little demon cells I chose to grow and nurture in my 20s are sitting there even though I am shrinking them, they are saying quietly, go on……. fill us up Kaz!  Bugger off!  Although last week was my birthday week and I think they got a little of their own way haha.

Tomorrow, I will write about how i got started and the direction i took that didn’t bore me, kept me busy and made me happy with continuing to love food.

less fat.jpg


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